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Review of algernonthemous's Hitting the Wall [Nov. 22nd, 2004|01:48 pm]
The Critically Constructive Feedback Project


Title: Hitting the Wall
Author: algernonthemous
Fandom: the O.C.
Rating: PG

I reviewed the story "Hitting the Wall", because there wasn't another story
specified for me to review. First off, I really, really liked this. I
thought it had a really great overall struggling feeling, and it was
perfectly designed and executed. The fact the Ryan never ran in Chino is a
perfect parallel. It makes the reader think that maybe times were hard for
Ryan when he was there, but they were always simple, in contrast to the
confusion he feels now. Is that somewhere close to what you were going for?
The line about people not being able to hurt you with their fists is just

Also, the way you incorporated Sandy was a really great touch. Ryan feels
that Seth is his problem, and wants to get away from him in the last
section. I thought that that was a really real touch, where as I find that
many fics don't express their characters need to get away from problems, no
matter how much they don't want to. I like that Seth keeps invading Ryan's
personal space.

I really couldn't find much that was wrong with this, and maybe if someone
with a better eye than me were to strip it bare, they could find little
things to pick at. I, however, thought that the overall product overshadowed
any little mistakes, and I think that that is what makes a good piece of

I'd reccomend this, adn the author, to anyone who reads O.C. fiction.


[User Picture]From: algernon_mouse
2004-11-22 06:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks, that was so kind of you to say.

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